Entries by david.perl

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Swapping Toxic Communication for Healthy Dialogue – How to heal your relationship and change the way you talk.

At LoveRelations, we ask couples who come to us: “What do you argue about most?”  The answers we receive are almost universal: children, money, too much time spent at work/with friends.  There are, sadly, a handful of flashpoints such as these in most relationships.  However, strip these issues down and most couples will admit that […]


Addiction and Relationships – How do we repair and relationship when alcohol and drugs are involved?

 Treatment for alcohol and drug problems is far more accessible these days.  Most GPs and healthcare providers have both the training and resources to spot problem drinking and drug abuse, and to offer helpful interventions.  The NHS provides counselling, support services, even detox programmes and rehab services. Addiction of all sorts – alcohol, prescription drugs, […]

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PTSD After an Affair?

Affair recovery forms a large part of our work at LoveRelations. About half the couples we work with are seeking help after the disclosure or discovery of some sort of infidelity. There is always a lot of pain and anger from both parties, when an infidelity happens. Many partners believe their relationship will never recover. […]


Money and Relationships

Money, despite what any of us want to believe about “love conquering all”, matters more than almost other issue in relationships.  According to one US survey, money is the number one issue married couples fight about.  In the UK, money disagreements are the second biggest cause of divorce, only a small way behind infidelity, according […]


Beyond Binary – Secrets, shame and the non-hetero-normal

Secrets and shame can seem like the vert landscape of couples psychotherapy.  At LoveRelations, we work with couples from all walks of life – married, co-habiting, same-sex, mixed race, none of the above.  Many come and talk about “lack of intimacy” or “loss of connection.  Our job, as relationship psychotherapists, is to allow partners to […]

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Sex, shame and silence

There is no area of behaviour that human beings feel more shame around than sex. We can perhaps understand some of the origins of this culture of shame when we look at the historical values of religion or even modern sex education, with its emphasis on physical functions and pregnancy prevention. As  relationship coaches and […]

Men, the mid life crisis and male rites of passage

Introduction “The worst of it all is that intelligent and cultivated people live their lives without even knowing of the possibility of such transformations. Thoroughly unprepared we take the step into the afternoon of life; worse still, we take this step with false assumption that our truths and ideals will serve us hitherto. But we […]

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The Reality Distortion Field When in the Fog of an Affair.

Week in week out I sit across from clients that are blinded, paralysed and entombed by the fog of an affair. These include the overwhelming feelings of infatuation and limerence, the latter being a debilitating condition involving romantic longing with elements of addiction and compulsive thinking, feelings and behaviours. Clients universally they tell me how […]